Intractible

Rondi Bloom

sometimes
when it grips and
grabs you in throatback
the momentum of the moment
rolls and roils within, a wave
then
it grows
wells up from way down
builds in heartrise
you choke on it, try to swallow
wish that you were hollow but
all you are, all you do... all you can is
pain and melting

swallow again and another swallow, push it down, tamp it
close your eyes, shut them tight, hoping you can stamp it out
sniffle, hold it back perhaps and then
and then….
...and then collapse

the moment saps and
falls in around you
shuts out sound.
you just can’t help it,
can’t hold back but ball your fists and pound your hips and
grind your teeth beneath your lips
in hopes that no one sees
because

because in the next moment
weakness wins
head spins
you let the monsters in and they pervade
slam into you, ramming
throatback jamming and

now you have no choice and you let go
let the moment moan into you and

let the tears flow