Marilyn Crain

Almost from the moment of her birth, she has been trying to find a path to peace. One day she was flying high as a summer kite on a wind torn day. The next she was screaming and clawing to pull herself out of the pit of despair. For her, there are few respites of peace and calm, so each tiny sliver of happiness is a luxury to be cherished and held tenderly until in a single breath they’re gone.

But, what must be understood is how amazing it is that she’s still here and she’s fighting through every day of her life. I stand in awe as she cares for her children with love and understanding, and then falls asleep on tear-soaked pillows. She holds down, no she excels at a full-time job, while fighting every single minute to hold on to reality by torn and bloody fingernails.

How does she do it? I ask myself that question day after day and I still do not know the answer. This wonderful, brilliant, creative, loving spirit searches each hour for a reason to hold on and move forward, most times in sheer dread, a few times with hope and eagerness.

She fights the inner roller coaster that rules her life. And, as if that were not enough, she sobs awhile and then pulls herself together and trudges on, as many around her make the shallow hurtful judgment that, “You just need to get over yourself and grow up.”

If hope and willing it so could only vanquish the unspeakable darkness that threatens to swallow her and the spirals that pull her to the heights and dash her to the ground.

Of one thing, I am certain. She is the strongest, most amazing woman I have ever known. And she is still here, here to fight through another day, another week, another month, another year and oh, please, through many years to come. I can only plead that by sheer force of will this beautiful creature, this hero of mine, will be able continue her quest for a time of peace, quiet and happiness.

With pride, love, and awe I offer this tribute to my sweet hero.