Jaguarita

Gazing into the mirror
looking deep within myself
reflecting on choices made
each choice a layer interwoven
constructing a fabric laid so tight
it became unmovable
molding me out of my own form
and into this confined garment
in which I can´t breathe

This bustier
fabric woven of beautiful intentions
laced tight with choices untrue to myself
cutting me off from breath, from life, from my own power

Gazing into the mirror, looking deep into myself
reflecting on choices made
watching my own eyes
I reach behind and begin to unhook
the top one, beautiful dream but no room for me
second hook, releases negativity not my own
third hook, is broken
things destroyed with harsh words
moving downward
naming out loud each release, both good and bad
that clenched my soul in this
Bustier woven with good intentions
watching this garment worn for so long
release, peeling from my body
and with the last unhooking
feeling it drop to the floor
as I gasp for air
like a swimmer who almost drowned

Looking into my own eyes
tears fall like rain
on my breasts
what do you do
when you have been untrue to yourself?

Wrapping myself in the softness I share so freely with others
I look deeply into my own eyes, and whisper tenderly
I am so sorry I hurt you
and I breathe